Everyone and everything has changed, so much, in these past few months. More people move away, more people take the easy way out, more decide they'd rather be a plastic clone. Is there anybody real out there? Is beauty really emaciation? We all chase what we'll never be able to reach. It creates feelings of inadequacy. You shouldn't have to change to be loved, never to become what they need.

I take my first delicate steps into the real world. Do you see what's happening, as you mix up your excuses. We've moved forward, and you're stuck. Paused. Excuses. Need to detoxify. It's so hard to stop......stop. STOP. Smoking. Drinking. Eating. Stressing. Excuse making. Oh, but it'll all be better, all be easier when every living cell (miracle of life?) is infected, diseased, cancerous, dead. Isn't it harder to see your child watch you die? How can you say you love, love them dearly? It's disgusting, nauseating, violent.

Only to find out I've lost a friend,a dear smiling face, I can still hear you laughing, joking, reminiscing on how far we've come.

Need to get back to something that's now unnatural for us. Take a step outside your comfort zone, take a breath, breath in, take a moment to actually feel life. It's really not that hard. I hope to meet with you again sometime, I hope you find what your looking for.

I miss you.